The Ukraine Is Weak

If you're a "Risk" fan, click here for a hilarious news brief from the Onion.

"In the '30s, Hitler, Czechoslovakia, Poland, France, Second World War ... Russian front, not a good idea. Hitler never played "Risk" when he was a kid. 'Cause, you know, playing "Risk," you could never hold on to Asia. That Asian-Eastern European area, you could never hold it, could you? Seven extra men at the beginning of every go, but you couldn’t fucking hold it. Australasia, that was the one. Australasia. All the purples. Get everyone on Papua New Guinea and just build up and build up." - Eddie Izzard